The personal blog of a Deferred Genius.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

On "My Commitment To You"...

"MY FRIENDS", I'm going to make a commitment to place at least one entry here per day for every day for the next week!

Perhaps by doing this I'll start to form a habit that I can keep up on a regular basis. I regularly send myself "To Do List" for the day from my work email to my home email address, and though I rarely get the opportunity to check things off of it, I do make a point to at least briefly review it when I get home.

Now, I will make a point of adding one blog entry at the end of my "To Do List" to be included here on a regular basis.

Wish me luck! :)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Helping FEMA...

Once again FEMA is being lambasted in the news media for failing to meet the needs of Hurricane Ike evacuees. It's times like this that make me ferociously angry because I feel that I could be doing a great job if I worked there. Why is it that the same people get the opportunity to make the same mistakes time and time again, over and over again, but nothing really changes?

Yes, I believe FEMA's response to Hurricanes Gustav and Ike were commendable in comparison to Hurricane Katrina's response, but there's still work to be done! They obviously need MAJOR some help and I can provide it!

Thus, if anyone from FEMA (with authority) is out there reading this: HIRE ME!



---end rant---

Monday, September 15, 2008

On "Lazy Generation Xers"...

Earlier today I have the misfortune of sitting a few feet away from a coworker as he went on a 15 minute diatribe about his 30 year old son. He says his son (along with his live-in 20 year old girlfriend) is a spoiled, lazy, ridiculous waste of space who is coddled by his mother. He says his son doesn't want to work, and is complacent with his part-time job at a local video game store. He says he only wants to play video games, and lie around the house dividing his free time between sleep and "play time". He says he completed a degree at the local community college, but it's all for naught since he only applied to a few local jobs before giving up. His father obviously hates his guts because he even mentioned his son during my interview for this job. He went on a mini-rant about how people in my age group (those under 35) are lazy and don't want to work or find jobs. I told him then (and I still believe this), that the reason we can't find jobs is because people like him, get in their jobs, do nothing, and stay there for 30+ years!! (Ok, I didn't say the "do nothing" part, but I thought it!). LOL.

How exactly is a young, college educated individual supposed to matriculate in the work force when the 60+ year olds, with 30+ years on the job (who could retire if they wanted), REFUSE TO LEAVE?! If I had the power, I'd clean out this whole damn office! GET THE LEAD OUT and DROP THE DEAD WEIGHT!! Everybody there for more than 15-20 years would have to RE-APPLY for their jobs and prove that they're still qualified AND worthy of their ridiculously bloated salaries. I bet that would encourage people to learn how to use computers more efficiently and not waste organizational resources.

Now, I'm not saying everyone that works here over the age of 50 is useless, because that just isn't true. There are a few very dedicated individuals here, but there are also some lazy, unmotivated employees who would NEVER EVEN CONSIDER doing something they think is beneath them or "outside of their salary grade".

The irony of the conversation I was forced to overhear is that the person doing all the complaining is THE LEAST EFFECTIVE SUPERVISOR AROUND and EVERYONE KNOWS IT! People constantly talk about how useless he is and how he's not the one to go to for information, because despite having three decades of experience in the field, he can NEVER help anyone and always refers you to someone else for answers! It's amazing that it hasn't occurred to him that his son's ineptitude is GENETIC!

Also, it pisses me off that he blames all of the son's faults on his mother, as if she SHE is the only enabler. Who lets his 20 year old girlfriend live with him? Hmm? If you're the "king of your castle" and the sole breadwinner of the household, then surely you can say who does and doesn't live with you, draining your financial resources, right?

It really pisses me off that there are tons of people at my job doing "the bare minimum" and are getting paid more than $100,000 a year, simply because they've done "the bare minimum" for more than two decades. I doubt any of the supervisors here were EVER stellar employees, they're just the ones who were able to wade through the bureaucratic bullsh!t and were still standing. There really needs to be some kind of merit based system where I work! The laziness and ineptitude that this place fosters is pathetic! THIS is what's really wrong with this country!

Did I make references to the Bible on here?

I'm not sure that I did, but a got an email from someone named "Dan" who thought I could benefit from some Bible-related product he's invented (or is marketing). I found that odd. Especially since we all know that I only have ONE READER. Genius, you got a cousin into selling "Bible blogging"?! LOL.

Friday, September 12, 2008

On "Tyler Perry's 'The Family That Preys'"....(SPOILER ALERT)

...I just got back from seeing "Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys", and I must say, I was so excited about this film that I almost left work an hour early, because I didn't want to be in a crowded movie theater on Friday night, because I knew it would be PACKED! I arrived at the early evening show, and thanks to the slow concessionist, I missed the first few minutes of the film. :(.

As the movie progressed, I quickly realized the feeling I was having was NAUSEA! I felt a bit sick to my stomach to see Tyler Perry pandering to the same old Hollywood formula of the "faithful Negro" that sits by in a subservient position to their "all knowing" and wealthy white counterpart. That really pissed me off! I expected more from Tyler! In fact, I was so mad, I actually wrote him an email, which I doubt he'll ever see, but my mind is now clear! LOL.

As always, I took a few notes, so I'll just run of the litany of thoughts that I had in random order, and maybe try to make this "review" make some sense in the last few sentences! LMAO.

My random thoughts on "The Family That Preys":
  • STEREOTYPES: There were so many stereotypical roles here! Not just the "high-class, wealthy white woman with the poor Black inner city friend" stereotype, but also that of the "evil, educated Black woman". I know this is the type of role that resonates with people, especially those without degrees or those who feel Black folks "get uppity" when they succeed at completing a college degree. I know that it's always easier to pander to "the masses", but the "standard box" that Sanaa Lathan was put in was just so tired. Must ALL educated Black women be "stuck up"? Do all the "non-educated" family members have to be resentful and quick to "pull your card" on how "uppity" you think you are now that you've "gotten your little degrees"? I guess so. And here's another lame, though tried and true Black movie favorite: "The Faithful Brother". Oh, Rockmond Dunbar was truly getting on my damn nerves with the "goody-two shoes" act, and it occurred to me that he's probably being typecast now as "the nice guy", but damn if he wasn't that UNTIL HE SLAPPED THE SH!T OUTTA SANAA'S CHARACTER! That was SO not cool, and the fact that he faced no repercussions for that behavior isn't cool either! It sends the message "it's okay to slap Black women, if they piss you off", and I could never agree with a man doing that! EVER! Of course, even after that, he redeems himself and gets the business he always wanted. I think we're supposed to get the impression that he decided to be the bigger person and "help out" Sanaa's character at the end of the movie when we see him hand her some money, and he kisses the little boy (that's not really his son).
  • RIDICULOUSNESS: Here's something I HATE to see: a rich friend with a broke-ass best friend? What kind of damn sense does that make? There's no way in hell I'm gonna have a friend that's loaded with mansions and sh1t, and I'm sitting in the hood "struggling"! That's bullsh1t! Though this may just be folklore, I've heard that when Oprah became a millionaire, she gave Gayle $1,000,001, so she could be a millionaire too. I thought that was the GREATEST and I decided then I'd do that for my friends when my millions start rolling in! LOL. The idea that somehow this friendship is maintained, even while one teeters on the brink of poverty is RIDICULOUS, and I know later in the movie, we find out that Alfre Woodard's character really isn't broke, but 3/4ths of the movie gives that perception, so "fixing things up" in the last 15 minutes doesn't change much in my opinion. SMH.
  • TYPECASTING? I think Sanaa Lathan's going from being considered as "the good girl" to slut/b1tch. She's slowly but surely taking on these roles that get her farther and farther away from the "Girl Next Door" and closer and closer to the "Home-wreckin' hussie"! I'm not sure if that's a good thing. Is that what one gets a Yale Masters degree in Drama for? Add to that, this is the SECOND time she's been with a white boy (no wait, third, she was cheatin' on Dean Cain in "Out of Time"), are we seeing a pattern here? Is she dissing the brother man for the "other man"? Let me stop! LOL. I just noticed she's finding herself in the company of a number of white men lately...I'm sure I ain't the only one that noticed!
  • ROBIN GIVENS NEEDS A BEAT DOWN: I just haven't liked her since she was on "Head of the Class". Can someone please beat her ass?! LMAO. Her character was bland and so superficial to the film's plot. She might as well have not been there, or better yet, he could have given a "no name actress" a shot, and it would have been just as good!
  • GREAT MAKEUP! Lawd hammercy Alfre Woodard's makeup was GREAT! I wish I could get my lips to look like that! LOL.
  • TERRIBLE HAIR: Every damn Tyler Perry movie gets on my damn nerves with those STRAY HAIRS ON THE ACTORS HEADS! It happens ALL THE TIME!!! I'm guessing he does it because he wants the films to look "more authentic" in some way, but it just annoys the hell outta me! Makes me wanna take a brush and some "let's jam" to each one of their hot ass mess heads! CTFU.
  • TYLER PERRY'S HAIR WAS A HOT DAMN MESS! Whoever sewed that wig needs to be horsewhipped! LOL.
  • KILL THE SOUTHERN ACCENTS PLEASE! Nuff said! That forced southern drawl got on my nerves the whole damn movie! So unnecessary!
  • SOMMORE JR.: Who was the chick playing the office secretary? Was that Sommore's bastard child? CTFU. Had to be!
  • BEING "SUPER SAVED": Did Alfre Woodard's character have to be so "super saved"?! I mean, I know folks love the Lord, and enjoy church, be she was just being the stereotypical "overly churchy" Black woman, holding on to "the old rugged cross" as an excuse to not fully live her life or have any fun. That was just sad. But her throwing Holy Oil on that male stripper was HILARIOUS! LOL.
  • HELPING THE HOMELESS: I can ALWAYS spot a "diamond in the ruff". When I saw "Nick" the homeless guy, I was thinking "that bastard is too fine to be homeless, I could get him, clean him up, and we could be REAL happy together"! I knew all he needed was a new suit, a shave, and some soap and water! His role was so kitschy it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit! SMH.
  • NO FRIENDS?: Was Alfre Woodard Kathy Bates' character only friend? I know that had to be the most grammatically f*cked up sentence ever, but you get my point! ROFL. That funeral scene was looking pretty paltry! How is it that someone so rich and seemingly full of life couldn't have a "packed funeral"? Moreover, how did Alfre Woodard turn out to be her best and only real friend?
  • ENTREPRENEURIAL STAGNATION: Why were Tyler and the other characters so afraid to start their own business? Maybe it's because I'm an aspiring major media mogul with entrepreneurial goals, but that just seemed a bit forced too. There's no way I would encourage someone to go into business with me if they had so much damn hesitation and didn't believe in themselves or my idea. In fact, there are people I've "left in the dust" thus far for that very reason! You don't need people that don't believe in, and can help you propel your thoughts and ambitions into action! :)
  • STOP KILLING OFF KATHY BATES!: Ok, I might be in the minority here, but: I'M SICK OF KATHY BATES SUICIDES!! Quit killing her off! LOL. I had to deal with this in "Primary Colors", now they do it again 10 years later! I can't take this!
All this being said: I'll still support Tyler Perry and continue to be the first to see his movies and plays! While I didn't particularly care for this movie, I'd still recommend it to others because we really need to continue to support this Black man working and making a name for himself in Hollywood (even if I think his latest effort is pure tripe).

Alright, that's about all I can think of now. I know it's discombobulated and probably doesn't make much sense to anyone, especially if they haven't seen the movie. I also know that my ONE READER probably won't have any idea what I'm talking about, but I write this in hopes that ONE DAY I'll perhaps have a SECOND READER and they'll be able to laugh out loud at my latest cinematic experience! :)
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Saturday, September 6, 2008

On My Attraction to Palestine Men...

I recently saw "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" (against my better judgment), and I must admit that I was shocked by the latest "revelation" this movie has revealed about me: I LOVE PALESTINIAN MEN!! I'm just as shocked as you are! LOL. I don't even know much about Palestinian men aside from the occasional glimpse I've seen in various movies and TV shows, ultimately depicting them as terrorists or the ultimate "terrorist who turns over a new leaf right before he gets blown away" stereotype.

I first realized my "crush" on Palestinian men (or shall I say "Arab Men", in general) as I was watching "The Siege" in the late 1990s. While I was supposed to swoon over Denzel Washington and/or Bruce Willis, Samir (played by French born Sami Bouajila) STOLE THE SHOW! I LOVED HIM!! I so felt his cause when he said "Everyone just takes, takes, takes from the Palestinians!". I just wanted to give him a hug so bad! ROFL. At that time, it was surely taboo to openly admit something like this, because the only interaction I'd ever had with Arabs was as store owners in the downtrodden neighborhoods of the city I was raised in. Arabs were bad. Arabs were shysters. And Arabs were unscrupulous and not to be trusted with ANYTHING, especially your money. Knowing what I now know about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, I now see these perceptions and their perpetration throughout various media outlets and social cultures in the U.S. for what they really are.

As I've gotten older, I've continually found that I'm attracted to Arab/Muslim men (seen mostly on TV, in movies, and on the Internet), but I can also admit I'm not attracted to the "typical Arab man" as often depicted in these mediums. I'll let you define what "typical" means, but I've noticed that there's something about a certain type of man of Arab-descent that totally "gets my mojo workin'"! LMAO. The two most recent examples of this are: Daoud Heidami (who played Nasi) and Ahmed Ahmed (who played Waleed) in "You Don't Mess With the Zohan". They were both SO SEXY!! Plus, I love Ahmed Ahmed's comedy and his standup routines. He's so smart and insightful, and he has the right mix of Middle Eastern-ness and Western "americanism" that just totally throws me for a loop!

Here's where I'm stuck: Damn if I have NO IDEA how to find or interact with Arab men (in person) in a way that I can actually get to know them and stop fetishcizing them so much. Plus, I would look a bit suspect hanging out at a local Mosque, since I have NO DESIRE to pick up a new religion (or even practice my old one! LMAO).

This might sound crazy, but I can also admit that I have a bit of a xenophobic fear of Arab/Muslim men based chiefly off of the film "Not Without My Daughter" starring Sally Field in the early 1990s. That movie told me "Marry an Arab, lose your kids and your womanly independence". I know it was mostly propaganda, but it worked! LOL.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this "newfound knowledge". I have no desire to date someone simply because they belong to a certain race or ethnic group. I also have no desire to marry someone so they can gain american citizenship, so I guess I'm just totally screwed! CTFU.

P.S. It's sad that I have to say this, but I will, just so there aren't any problems later: I'm not saying I support terrorism because that's just completely stupid!
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On Record Unemployment...

There's irony that for the first time in two years I actually have a job at a time when the U.S. is seeing it's highest unemployment rate in 5 years! It still doesn't take away the anguish I feel knowing that I'm working a job that's paying me THE BARE MINIMUM and that amount still doesn't help me to meet ALL of my financial obligations.

What really pisses me off on a daily basis is the fact that NOTHING worked out as it was "supposed to". I was told that if I went to college (and graduated), the world would be open to me. I could get out of the ghetto and "write my own ticket to success". NONE OF THAT HAS HAPPENED!! Yes, I am extremely appreciative of my education (despite the fact that the price for it accounts for 40% of my current outstanding debt obligations), and intellectually I've gained more than I ever could have if I'd chosen to end my educational journey after high school, however it's upsetting to know that apparently there are no places that are willing to pay me (a multiple time college graduate) a decent wage and allow me to "flourish" professionally.

The job I work now is clerical and it pisses me off on two fronts. First, it's insulting to my intelligence and my boss knows that, and I secretly think she revels in the knowledge that she has someone with two masters degrees filing paperwork. She's even mentioned that no one cares about my education because "everyone's gone to college". SMH. Second, it's not in any way rewarding in the long-run, nor is it providing me with any REAL professional experience that will be worthwhile to some other employer down the line. I DON'T WANT TO BE A SECRETARY FOR ANYONE! So, not only is this job not worthwhile professionally, but it's also leading me down the WRONG CAREER PATH. I have no desire to become overly proficient at filing and answering phones/emails.

In short: THIS JOB SUCKS! It's a step slightly above working in a fast food restaurant (which wouldn't hire me, by the way, despite the fact that I didn't put my education on the application). There's no room for advancement, and no possibility for a raise for several years. I can't imagine who'd really want a job like this, and it amazes me that it hasn't even occurred to my boss that I'll be leaving this position AS SOON AS SOMETHING ELSE BECOMES AVAILABLE!

Because I have nothing but "hope", I'm guessing that somewhere down the line my education will pay off. Right now, it's not. I feel for all the people that are unemployed or underemployed because my heart goes out to them. While I am employed now, and able to meet a few of my financial obligations, I know what it's like to worry ad nausem about paying next month's bills and how you're going to scrape by month-to-month. I know what it's like to see your savings dwindle and ultimately disappear, then see people look at you like you're completely out of your mind when you apply for a job at Blockbuster with a college degree (even when you don't put the degree on the application). It's disheartening and demoralizing, but I can't honestly say that working (at least in my situation) really makes me feel any better. The first 2-3 weeks when I got home from my job, all I could do was cry. And this is coming from a person that RARELY CRIES about ANYTHING.G. I felt so bleak and so useless as a human being, and knowing that I'm in YET ANOTHER job that only wants a warm body to perform automated functions just pisses me off more and makes me feel even less important.

I guess all I can say to those that are unemployed and underemployed right now is: KEEP THE FAITH! That's what I'm doing. I'm "grinning and bearing" my current position, waiting for the RIGHT opportunity to come along. Hopefully it will soon. I can't imagine what I'd do if this extends beyond 6 months!


P.S. Before anyone criticizes me for being ungrateful about being employed when millions are unemployed, understand that I made this blog specifically to rant about the fact that I'm highly intelligent (that's right GENIUS) and I'm being held back by forces that are greater than me, my aspirations, and my constant struggle to succeed!
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Friday, September 5, 2008

Now That The Conventions Are Over...

...I can honestly say I saw nor heard anything that changed my opinion. I know that both the Democratic and the Republican National Conventions really just serve as "commercials" for the undecideds, but I found both of them to have their boring points.

I did enjoy the parts of the DNC that I saw. I missed Bill Clinton and Joe Biden's speeches, and I'm pretty sure I didn't miss anything with the latter. As has been mentioned by my sole blog commenter (LOL), BIDEN IS BORNING! In fact, just typing that with an exclamation point is about as exciting as Joe's gonna get in this campaign! LMAO.

As far as the RNC, I honestly forgot it was on most of the time. The only thing I made sure to tune in for was Sarah Palin's speech, but everything else mostly bored me to tears (or actually to sleep, as with John McCain's speech). I must say, Sarah Palin's speech was funny to me, but I take issue with the way people ONCE AGAIN are so "snowed" by her "performance". First, as a person that has had a few speech communication classes, from a purely technical standpoint her speech delivery was atrocious! She didn't project her voice well, she didn't really seem all too convinced about what she was saying, and it was all too obvious that she was reading off of a teleprompter. Now, I know that MOST SPEECHES (even Obama's) are put on the teleprompter, but in my opinion, if you're giving a live speech, and people can TELL you're reading from a teleprompter, YOU'RE DOING A BAD JOB! Additionally, both Palin and McCain kept making the mistake of not giving their audience enough time to respond to their comments! It's as if they practice their speeches only in front of one staff member who never once told them to PAUSE for applause or audience feedback. The MULTIPLE times this happened annoyed the hell out of me and I can't believe NO ONE in the mainstream media (or even the "fringe media") pointed this out.

I must say I'm not surprised how snookered in the american public was by Palin's speech. All she did was cloak herself in the american flag and espouse the same ol' nonsense about patriotism and heroics, and she pretty much had the vote of the lower-class white "Republican base" that she was going over.

Honestly, I watched Palin's speech EXPECTING HER TO DO WELL! I do believe I have the ability to be objective for both sides, because I believe both Republicans and Democrats are fundamentally full of sh1t! It was only after seeing her make the same mistakes, coupled with the poor delivery that I really decided that she doesn't have enough ANYTHING to make me even consider voting from her. Yes, I was (and still am) a Hillary supporter, and given that I fundamentally disagree with Sarah Palin on a HOST of issues that are important to me, she really never had a chance to gain my vote anyway. I did however want to remain open-minded and perhaps see what she was about, just in case she had some other qualities that balanced out her archaic stance on abortion and gay-marriage. I admit, she did give out a couple of awesome zingers! Especially the community organizer thing! LOL. I can't be as sensitive as some people I know about this issue. Tons of my "socially responsible" are trying to rally or boycott the Republican party (like they really care) calling for some kind of grassroots movement based off of her comments which they felt were "dismissive" of community-oriented workers. What amazes me is how quickly people forget to consider these comments IN CONTEXT! She made these comments while addressing the issue of how her experience as Mayor and Governor of a small town and small state aren't considered to be "cosmopolitan enough", and she sent a barb at the Democrats on a similar issue that she knew would hit home! Seems simple enough, but some many "community organizers" have their panties in a bunch right now! It just seems silly and its a waste of energy. Republicans don't give a sh1t about poor folks (who by in large are the ones who have and benefit from "community organizations") and they surely don't care two sh1ts about a bunch of community organizers who are gathering together against them, because they never had (nor expected) your vote in the first place!

Ok, back on topic: As far as how I'll be voting: I will more than likely cast a half-hearted vote for Obama. I really would have preferred to see Hillary on the ticket, but once again, as in 2000 and 2004, I'm forced to vote for "the lessor of two evils". Even though I think Obama's campaign is full of empty promises and rhetoric, there's NOTHING I've seen from the Republican party (nor their feigned attempted at embracing change by putting a woman on the ticket) that makes me want to vote for a McCain/Palin ticket.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Sarah Palin for President?

I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about this. First, yes, the title of this post is misleading. She's actually been picked for the number 2 spot of VP, but should McCain kick the bucket, like all the jokesters jest, she'd be PRESIDENT. Is she ready? Wait...is Obama?

Ok, I'll stick to the topic at hand. As soon as Sarah Palin was noted as John McCain's Vice President pick, I got a call/text message from a friend asking if this effectively "stole" my Hillary vote. I thought the idea of this was ludicrous! Anyone that's voting on the issues would still have to think long and hard about the candidates, and the fact that Sarah Palin is a woman, doesn't change my opinion of who most aligns with the issues I hold near and dear. Add to that: I DON'T KNOW SARAH PALIN! I've "known" Hillary since before I was a teenager, and while she's not perfect, she surely has grown on me, thus there's a sentimental factor that made me push harder for her to get the Democratic nomination, and be all the more disappointed when that didn't happen! Sarah Palin now being introduced to the "national landscape" doesn't sway my vote simply because she lacks a Y chromosome! It's actually rather offensive that someone would assume that because I'm a woman, she'll get my vote! It's just as silly as people who assumed that Barack would have my vote in the bag automatically as well.

If anything, Palin's nomination worries me. I'm not so much concerned about "deflecting Hillary supporters "as I am about white, middle-class conservative soccer moms who'll identify with this "everyday woman" that drinks beer, hunts, is a lifelong member of the NRA, knows how to take charge while still baking cookies, and believed in anti-abortion so much that she had a child she knew would be sick!

The bottom line here is that I'm once again excited about the political process. Not so excited that I actually get more politically involved, but I do care more about what's happening politically. I now think the Presidential race JUST GOT INTERESTING!

All the people looking for "change" now have that from the republican party, and while many see it as a feigned attempt to "snow" the american public with smoke and mirrors and keep them away from "the real issues", others view Palin's nomination as a breath of fresh air! She's everything that McCain is NOT! She shores up the "conservative base" AND she's a pretty white woman! I don't know if you've noticed this, but pretty white women RARELY LOSE ANYTHING! LMAO.

On Random Internet Encouragement

I ventured here today, newly inspired by Barack Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention. Based partly on the fact that most people I know are heading to bed so they can wake up and go to work in the morning, I really didn't have a creative outlet to get my thoughts out before I go to bed tonight and prepare for another crap azz day of work.

I was totally floored when I saw I had ONE COMMENT on my most recent post. Upon further inspection, I've seen there are other comments for the other posts, though I admit I haven't read them yet. While my intention was to post my thoughts on Barack's speech, I'm now truly encouraged to write more! If only for that ONE person that left me a comment! LOL.

At least back in June, someone paid attention, no matter how briefly! Ok, that sounds a bit pathetic, but I really figured I'd never gain an audience through blogging. Not because I don't think I'm funny or witty enough or that I'd run out of topics, but because I can't figure out how the hell "trackbacks" work! LMAO.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I just don't get blogging. Perhaps the problems I'm having are just endemic to Blogger, and I should start looking for a new editor. (Any suggestions?). The bottom line is: I'll be writing here more often. Based in part because I really do need to get a lot of this stuff I've got jammed in my head out, and because I'm having some experiences in life that could stand to be laid out in a journal, so I can look back on them 20 years from now and laugh! True, being a mostly private person, it's antithetical to think I'd post such personal things on the Internet for everyone to see, but I figure, WHY NOT?! LOL. I won't be making any REAL confessions (at least not until "my public" demands it), and it's good to see people's opinions and get a dialogue started!

So, to my one reader in Auckland: THANKS! I appreciate it! Even though it's been two months since I logged into my account, seeing your ONE message helped temporarily lift my spirits. For that I am truly indebted to you! :)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

On Barack Obama

I admit it: Barack Obama is charismatic! I like him! I've long since held that Hillary Clinton was my "candidate of choice", and while I'm not a die-hard Democrat, I supported her candidacy 100%. I could not give the same support to Barack Obama. Again, I like him, but I'm not 100% behind him. Even though I "loved" Hilary, I still wasn't considered a "die-hard fan". She was fallible (obviously), and though she wasn't perfect, I still liked her!

Though I think Barack is handsome, funny, and smart, I worry about the "svengali-like hold" that he has on much of the american public. I see people's eyes glazed over and they're frothing at the mouth at everything the man says! For me, it's the same way people were "snowed" by Bush in 2000 and 2004. I question anyone that has that kind of "devotion" to ANY PERSON, including clergy!

Thus far, I'm surely leaning towards voting for Barack Obama, because he's the "lessor of two evils". It's always the way I vote in this "two party system". I don't really have any choice. I refuse to "throw my vote away" on an independent candidate, despite the fact that I plan to change my voter registration from "Democratic" to "Independent".

Barack's speech at the Democratic National Convention was right! There is something brewing! Change is in the air! Whether he wins the nomination or not, things can't continue to stay the same.

CHANGE IS COMING!

My problem with Democrats is that they're REAL good on talk, but short on action! Say what you will about Republicans, THEY GET THINGS DONE! Sure, they get them done for their friends and family members ONLY, but they get them done nonetheless! LMAO.

Perhaps because I'm unhappy professionally, I'm unable to have the unrelenting eagerness that so many of my friends, colleagues, and relatives have about Obama's chances. I still think america is too racist to elect a Black man, even if he is mostly the antithesis of what most americans think of Black men in general. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm sure there are tons of people that hope that I am. If I am, I'll admit it when the time comes.

I'll end this by saying, HIS SPEECH WAS GREAT! Now let's see what america's really made of!

Genius Deferred


P.S. I HAVE A DREAM! I'm thinking about moving to Illinois and running for Barack's senate seat should he win the presidency! LOL.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

I Don't Get Blogging....

Now, don't get me wrong, I am a genius, and I usually have a grasp on "all things intellectual", but I don't get why this blogging thing isn't working. Perhaps it's just the Blogger interface, but I don't see how this works. It's not easy to meet people, or customize your site. Maybe I should leave and try another site.

Here I've been here for MONTHS and not ONE PERSON has viewed my blog! This is like a freaking diary available on the World Wide Web, because NO ONE SEES IT!

I've read the Help Section, and it didn't help!

Why am I so alone in the blogsphere?! What is it that I'm doing wrong?! More importantly, why did I just take 2 minutes to write this, knowing no one will read it!

I think I've officially "gone crazy"! LMAO.

Teen Pregnancy on the Rise?

Everyone's in an uproar because of 17 girls in some "pregnancy pact" in Massachusetts. I don't get the big deal. Teens get pregnant all the time, and I'd surely question the "statistics" that have been kept on this issue for decades, because there are a number of variables that determines when a pregnancy is reported, and to whom.

Anywhoo, it occurred to me recently that the girls involved must be primarily white. The reason I think this is because you haven't seen ONE picture of any of the ones involved. History (and my own experience) tells me that's because they aren't people of color. If they were Black or Hispanic, their pictures, along with captions and video snippets of them talking about how proud they are to be pregnant, would be shrewn all over the web! Since I don't see that, I make the assumption that they're white. Sure, eventually time will tell if I'm right or wrong on this.

What pisses me off about this whole thing, is not the sad fact that a group of girls under 16 have decided to have babies, and negatively alter their lives, but the fact that the media is so quick to blame "popular culture" and movies like "Knocked Up" and "Juno". That's RIDICULOUS! Teens have been getting pregnant for decades, and you can't just immediately place the blame on idiots like Jamie Lynn Spears. Place the blame on the PARENTS who don't teach their kids values and morals and help them plan for the future! It's pretty obvious that Britney's parents failed her and her siblings in a number of ways, it's just sad that their family dysfunction gets plastered all over the news!

Teen girls have been getting pregnant for the same reason today that they did 30 years ago: THEY WANT TO BE LOVED! No girl with a future and dreams wants to be a parent at 16-17. No girl that truly has a loving, caring family ruins her future by getting knocked up before she's 18. Yes, being a teen parent these days doesn't mean that you automatically fail in life, as it used to mean many decades ago, but it does limit your potential. Not to mention adding the EXTRA PRESSURE of HAVING TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER LIFE to your list of "life worries".

This whole situation is sad, but regrettably nothing new. I think the worst of it is these girls are now NATIONAL CELEBRITIES. Even though we in the national audience can't identify who they are (yet), those in their local community know who they are, and I'm sure the attention they're getting is exactly what they wanted when they got knocked up. They'll get special baby showers, and I'm sure the town will come together and put up a fund for the mothers (and the kids) to go to college and pay for diapers, etc. Chances are, most of the father's WON'T get charged with any crimes, except maybe for the "24 year old homeless man" that everyone keeps talking about. Grown men have been having sex with underaged girls since way before R. Kelly was pissing on them!

Though this entire scenario is sad, it's more so indicative of a "slow news week", since people are tired of hearing about $4+/gallon gas prices (that don't seem to be getting any lower, by the way). I imagine in the next few weeks, Angelina Jolie's bastard twins will be the cause for the next "brouhaha" (and yes, I called them "bastards". It's unpopular, but it fits! LOL). Oh well. IT IS WHAT IT IS!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Shaken, not Stirred...

Today marks the third time someone who considers themselves to be a "life coach" or someone that helps people with self-empowerment/self-esteem/self-worth issues, etc. has said something UTTERLY DISGUSTING TO ME!

First, it was the "business coach" who broke confidentiality with another client to tell me that people were talking about me behind my back. This "coach" said there were twitters of how "unprofessional" I appeared, of course implying that he could improve this through his "coaching".

The second, came in the form of yet another "life coach" who took it upon herself to tell me that she doesn't like my personal style of dress, and suggested she'd like to take me shopping (though she DID NOT offer to pay!).

The third and final incident happen today after a referral to a certain "self-empowerment coach" ended in her telling me she's the best at what she does, and she doesn't even know why I'd consider getting into her field (or even contacting her in general) since she's been doing what she does for 20 years and she's the best in the business.

I have been thoroughly and utterly DISGUSTED by these people's actions. It's sickening to think that they all present themselves as people that work to help others. It's such a crock! How can you help others when your first goal is to tear them down? What kind of fu*kery is that?!

Man, now I REALLY get it! I've always had naysayers and detractors in my life, and people that tell me that my ideas are wrong, and that whatever my plans aren't going to work out, but it seems that this new crop of people are a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BREED! Normally, people that tell me I'm going to fail actually KNOW ME, but the three folks mentioned here don't know me from Adam, beyond a few brief encounters. I'm completely SHOCKED and APPALLED that people who purport to actually HELP others can be so callous and inconsiderate of someone's feelings (just because that person isn't paying their fees). For this reason, I now official believe "life coaching" to be a CROCK! There's a reason why REAL universities haven't embraced this phenomenon!

I recently read something that said don't give up at your bleakest hour, because that's when you're the closest to achieving your goal. Part of me believes that, and the other part of me just isn't going to give up because I don't want all the naysayers to be right!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Democratic Nominee

First, let me say I just posted this in "May" so that I'd have at least ONE post there for that month, but in actuality I'm posting on June 15th, so don't get all hyped up thinking I'm some kind of psychic mind reader with insight into who's going to win November's election (but I will give it a shot):

So, now that the Democratic Nomination Brouhaha is seemingly over, and it appears that Barack Obama has emerged as the choice of the party, I do have a few feelings about this situation that I'll share at this time.

First, I'm sad that Hillary didn't win, and although I've always felt that when the choice came down to a Black man and a white woman as the Democratic nominee, it all but GUARANTEED that a Republican would be voted into office in November, I'm still a bit miffed that Hillary didn't get the nomination. Personally, I think Barack Obama has been used as an operative of the Republican Party (similar to how Ralph Nader & John Kerry were) to make sure that there's never really a "viable" candidate to run against them. Don't get me wrong, I think Barack Obama's ok and all, but I don't think his "Change" mantra is going to be all that effective, since PEOPLE DON'T LIKE CHANGE! Aside from that, while I'm sure people are head-over-heels excited about the first possible "president of color", I'm just not as caught up into that hype as people feel I should be as a Black woman.

Leading me to my second point: This democratic nomination process has been amazing to me on a personal level. I've personally lost friends and family members as a result of my choice to support Hillary's campaign. Truthfully, some of those relations were already strained, and the Obama thing just finally made the last straw snap, but it's been amazing to see how emotional people are over this issue! And by "people", I have to be honest here and say I mean "Black people". They've been frothing at the mouth and worshipping Obama like he's the "second coming", and I think it's sad and ridiculous and it reminds me of the way people supported Bush in 2000 and 2004, even despite the fact that common logic and intelligence seemed to indicate that doing such a thing was UTTERLY STUPID. That's not to say the people that supported Bush were stupid, but many of them did appear to be mindless lemmings following whatever he said and falling for sound bites on topics that were really of the least bit of concern to MOST americans. That's the way I see lots of Black people going. They're following Obama, because they believe that he'll somehow secretly open up doors for Black people once he gets into office, despite that fact that him doing so would be AGAINST everything he talks about and represents (i.e. he's for ALL people, thus Black folks need to "get in where they fit in").

Point three: Though it's no longer "socially acceptable" to otter these words, I will: I don't think Barack Obama is "Black enough" FOR ME! I say that in the vein of the "He's not Black like me" sentiment that I'm sure many Black folks in america who are the descendants of slaves feel (though they can no longer express this thought without people - many of them Black themselves these days - shunning their concerns or opinions on the matter). Yes, as a multiracial man of African descent in this country, Barack Obama is a proud symbol of what can happen for you in this country if you work hard and have a white mother. I know it's hard for many people to understand where I'm coming from with this, but I'm not hating on him, I'm just pointing out the reality of the fact that much of his success is based on the fact that he's half-white, whether people are willing to admit that or not. If Barack had two Black parents that were the descendents of slaves in this country, he wouldn't be where he is. Hell, for everything she's accomplished, even MICHELLE OBAMA couldn't be where he is (nor her brother, with a similar pedigree) if the tables were turned! Yes, Barack's nomination is a step in showing that there's been some progress on race relations in this country, but I still see the racism in the "golden boy" who's accepted by america because he's got half of the "right blood" coursing through his veins. Again, I know it's unpopular to have this opinion, but far be it from me to shy away from something simply because it's not popular! LOL.

Fourth, Hillary ran a bad campaign! She didn't really run this race as if she was in the race against a REAL contender, she ran it as if she was the presumptive nominee, and didn't think that Obama would be a threat. And it wasn't until he was actually shown to be a threat, that she started strategizing. That was her BIGGEST FAULT. By that time, in my opinion, the fight was over. Many people lose battles when they fail to analyze who their competition is before starting the war! Along the same lines that I see racism in Barack's campaign, I can admit that there's sexism in Hillary's as well. There's NO WAY she could be in the position that she is if it weren't for HER HUSBAND! That sucks! It still sends the same message that your worth as a woman, no matter what your other accomplishments, is still tied to a man. I hate that, but accept it as yet another "necessary evil" of life.

Finally, who I'll vote for in November is still up in the air. Should Barack Obama not select Hillary Clinton as his Vice President, he surely won't have my vote automatically given to him. Hillary was my candidate of choice, and I'm not a Democratic, so I don't feel the need to automatically throw my support behind whomever sits on the Democratic ballot. I think Barack's alright and all, but if he doesn't choose Hillary as a VP, then it'll force me to take a closer look at where he and John McCain stand on the issue (as well as who JM chooses as a VP, 'cause if it's Romney, he'll never get my vote), and decide from there.

I think this country is headed into the crapper, and if I could leave it, I would! Maybe I need to spend a few years somewhere else so I can truly appreciate WHATEVER it is that makes others love america so much! The democratic nominee process has once again jaded me on the political process in this county, and the truth of the matter is, I'm really tired of the way things happen here! I need more options!

------END RANT------

Friday, April 18, 2008

Drinking at 21?

How did the age of 21 come about as the "legal drinking age" in the United States? I ask that question somewhat rhetorically, because I really don't want the answer, because that would probably ruin my forthcoming diatribe!

I think 21 was arbitrarily chosen, and I think that the age should either be lowered to 18, or raised to 25! I think this, in part, because these numbers two are simply arbitrary, yet can be associated with a variety of other lifetime milestones. Even though I'm far past the age of 18, I've always wondered WHY 21 was set aside as the "magical legal drinking age"? At 18, you can legally marry, enter contracts, and sign your life away to either of the military branches of this country, so why then, if given THIS MUCH RESPONSIBILITY is the age to legally imbibe in alcohol consumption still held off until 21? It's not as if that age restriction somehow magically keeps kids AWAY from alcohol. It just seems arbitrary and ridiculous to me!

Everyone's so enthused about "young people and their participation in this year's election", but what would happen if those young people decided to turn their attention towards this issue?

It just seems crazy to me that you can enter contracts that can change your life, open credit that can potentially ruin your financial life (for decades), and make the ultimate decision to put your life on the line for this country and its ideals, but can't get a drink until 3 more years have passed.

This sucks! And who gave MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) the power to enforce such an age limit arbitrarily?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Barack Brouhaha

In the midst of Senator Obama making his speech about race relations in america, and attempting to hear Hillary's response, it occured to me: I don't care anymore!

It goes beyond the fact that Barack's american "golden boy" (both figuratively and literally) that can do no wrong, but just the fact that this gets everyone's feathers in a twist gives me a headache!

I'm sure I sound incoherent, as it's been several days since I've had a good night's sleep, since I've been dealing ad nausem with T-Mobile's bullsh1t HotSpot @ Home service that apparently isn't meant to work in MY home. But it hit me: "so what?". I didn't have the time, nor the inclination to listen to a 35 minute speech by Obama, because not a damn thing he says now is going to really change my opinion of him, nor take my vote away from Hillary. It just seems so damn useless and senseless! I honestly don't think either of them have a snowball's chance in hell of being the next president of this country, but I'd be more than willing to "eat my words" should my assumptions about this racist/sexist nation ring untrue.

People keep asking the question "is america ready for a Black president?", and my answer to that is "sure, if you can actually find one!". Yes, I said it! Barack isn't the kind of "Black" I envision when I think of a "Black president". A Black american president should be someone with longstanding cultural ties to this country who has understood and overcome the institutional racism of this country and still managed to get elected to the highest office of this land! Until that happens, I'll always view Barack's candidacy (or even his win) as a pseudo-victory for "colored folks" everywhere! If the decendent of an american Black slave were to be elected president (even with being biracial), I'd view THAT as a victory, because even in that case, that person would have SOME semblance of an understanding of where myself, and people like me come from.

I know it's no longer popular to expose such views about Barack Obama. In fact, part of me expects my Blogger account to be "mysteriously" shut down ("for maintenance") within the next few days. Don't get me wrong. I think Barack Obama is a nice guy. I'd love to have coffee or lunch with him to pick his brain and ask him some questions about some of the things he talked about in his first book (yes, I actually read it, unlike many of the faithful "obamites" out there that follow him blindly). But the simple fact of the matter is, I can't (and won't) get past his "cosmepolitan" upbringing that allows so many whites to be so comfortable around him because he is the antithesis of what MOST people know to be "Black". His candidacy should at the very least show people that "race" isn't simply about skin color! It's about so much more than that. Barack Obama's skin color makes him a "tan man". His ethnicity makes him an "African American", but as far as I'm concerned: HE'S NOT BLACK!

Yes, this is really quite off the topic of his speech and all the surrounding "drama" that goes with it. Perhaps, if I feel up to it later, I'll talk about how I was actually impressed by Obama actually "boning up on his political savvyness" and becoming a politician for once by throwing Jeremiah Wright under the bus and distancing himself from him as soon as humanly possible when sh1t hit the fan! LMAO.

Monday, March 17, 2008

"Stuff white people like"....

Yet another bit of inequality in this world surrounds this popular blog that has got everyone in a tizzy. Some white guy set up a satirical site about being white and obnoxious, and he'll probably make a million dollars off of it!!

I'm really getting sick and tired of racism in this country, but what makes it so insidious is that people can't even identify when it's happening anymore.

The fact that his site (for whatever reason) continues to draw readers is just sad and sorry.

If there were any justice in the world, I'd have $3 million dollars of "mad money" sitting in my checking account. SMH.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Genius Deferred

Everyday I wake up and ask myself "why don't I have a job?". At least once a day, I ask this question to some friend or family member over the phone. We're all perplexed, and no one has any answers. It just doesn't seem fair that a college educated, intelligent, bright, ambitious, and energetic young woman can't seem to find good employment.

When I talk to people, the looks of disbelief on their faces at the fact that I'm not working is almost comical. It's as if people can't conceptualize what it is that might be keeping me from the employment ranks. No one has any answers. All they can do is shake their head.

I've started to believe that this is serving as a time where I am being "tested". I long believed that God would take care of me, and provide for all of my needs, but sometime a few weeks ago I lost that belief. Outright. Gone. I felt completely and utterly alone in this world, knowing that I'm utterly powerless to change any and everything that happens to me in this world. Don't get me wrong. I'm not feeling bleek or sorry for myself. I just realized that I am haplessly and aimlessly wandering through life and there's not much that's within my power to change anything about my current situation. I can't make someone give me a job, nor am I in the place where I can financially afford to invest in my own future and create a job for myself.

I'm just BEING. Stuck in a conundrum waiting on all this stuff to finally come to an end. What I mean by "end", only time will tell, but for now, I really and truly to feel as if, once again, GENIUS is being DEFERRED. All this talent and wit, wasted. It's just sad and pathetic that we live in a world where someone like me sits inert, on the internet, writing to no one, while no one in particular cares...

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Grammys - 2008

It's the 50th Anniversary of the NARAS's Grammy Awards show, and for the last 5-6 years, I admit it's been an event that I've found I care less and less about as time passes. It's not because I necessarily dislike the music that's be produced from their respective artists, but it's more so based on the fact that every passing Grammy year reminds me of yet another failure in my own life, as I'm no closer to getting to the awards show than I was when I decided I wanted to win an award when I was 4.

Well, the motivation behind this post comes from Vince Gill's acceptance speech as he received the Best Country Music Album of the Year award. In his speech, he quoted someone by saying, "Music is the only true place where democracy lives". My first thought was "Bullshit"!

I've been in "Stifle City" more than a year, and whenever I tell someone I'd like to break into the music industry, they always start by giving me tips on how to break into Gospel music!
Why is that you may ask? Is it because it's "the Bible Belt", or because Gospel Music is slowly taking a back seat to Country Music in the Music City? NO! It's because I'm a Black woman! That's why. It's inconceivable to many to believe that I'd ever have any desire to break into the music industry, and just the outright assumption that because I'm Black I'm automatically looking to get my foot in the door with Gospel music. A genre I haven't listened to in more than 15 years!

Anywhoo, I felt the need to point that out.
I'm sure no one cares, because right now, I don't have any readers. SMH & LOL.

About Me

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Write as little or as much as I'd like, up to 1200 characters. Again, I feel limited. In a nutshell, I'm an exceedingly genuine person experiencing an exceedingly tedious series of events. I'm in my early 30s. I'm a college graduate (several times over), and recently lost a job that didn't in any way allow me to live up to my life's potential! "Deferred Genius" refers to the current state I'm in where I could take the world by storm, if only given the opportunity. I'm trying to now capitalize on the POTENTIAL that I have and raise $100,000 for a business opportunity primed to be a multimillion-dollar enterprise. I COULD USE AN ANGEL INVESTOR!