There's irony that for the first time in two years I actually have a job at a time when the U.S. is seeing it's highest unemployment rate in 5 years! It still doesn't take away the anguish I feel knowing that I'm working a job that's paying me THE BARE MINIMUM and that amount still doesn't help me to meet ALL of my financial obligations.
What really pisses me off on a daily basis is the fact that NOTHING worked out as it was "supposed to". I was told that if I went to college (and graduated), the world would be open to me. I could get out of the ghetto and "write my own ticket to success". NONE OF THAT HAS HAPPENED!! Yes, I am extremely appreciative of my education (despite the fact that the price for it accounts for 40% of my current outstanding debt obligations), and intellectually I've gained more than I ever could have if I'd chosen to end my educational journey after high school, however it's upsetting to know that apparently there are no places that are willing to pay me (a multiple time college graduate) a decent wage and allow me to "flourish" professionally.
The job I work now is clerical and it pisses me off on two fronts. First, it's insulting to my intelligence and my boss knows that, and I secretly think she revels in the knowledge that she has someone with two masters degrees filing paperwork. She's even mentioned that no one cares about my education because "everyone's gone to college". SMH. Second, it's not in any way rewarding in the long-run, nor is it providing me with any REAL professional experience that will be worthwhile to some other employer down the line. I DON'T WANT TO BE A SECRETARY FOR ANYONE! So, not only is this job not worthwhile professionally, but it's also leading me down the WRONG CAREER PATH. I have no desire to become overly proficient at filing and answering phones/emails.
In short: THIS JOB SUCKS! It's a step slightly above working in a fast food restaurant (which wouldn't hire me, by the way, despite the fact that I didn't put my education on the application). There's no room for advancement, and no possibility for a raise for several years. I can't imagine who'd really want a job like this, and it amazes me that it hasn't even occurred to my boss that I'll be leaving this position AS SOON AS SOMETHING ELSE BECOMES AVAILABLE!
Because I have nothing but "hope", I'm guessing that somewhere down the line my education will pay off. Right now, it's not. I feel for all the people that are unemployed or underemployed because my heart goes out to them. While I am employed now, and able to meet a few of my financial obligations, I know what it's like to worry ad nausem about paying next month's bills and how you're going to scrape by month-to-month. I know what it's like to see your savings dwindle and ultimately disappear, then see people look at you like you're completely out of your mind when you apply for a job at Blockbuster with a college degree (even when you don't put the degree on the application). It's disheartening and demoralizing, but I can't honestly say that working (at least in my situation) really makes me feel any better. The first 2-3 weeks when I got home from my job, all I could do was cry. And this is coming from a person that RARELY CRIES about ANYTHING.G. I felt so bleak and so useless as a human being, and knowing that I'm in YET ANOTHER job that only wants a warm body to perform automated functions just pisses me off more and makes me feel even less important.
I guess all I can say to those that are unemployed and underemployed right now is: KEEP THE FAITH! That's what I'm doing. I'm "grinning and bearing" my current position, waiting for the RIGHT opportunity to come along. Hopefully it will soon. I can't imagine what I'd do if this extends beyond 6 months!
P.S. Before anyone criticizes me for being ungrateful about being employed when millions are unemployed, understand that I made this blog specifically to rant about the fact that I'm highly intelligent (that's right GENIUS) and I'm being held back by forces that are greater than me, my aspirations, and my constant struggle to succeed!
The personal blog of a Deferred Genius.
- ▼ September (7)
- Genius Deferred
- Write as little or as much as I'd like, up to 1200 characters. Again, I feel limited. In a nutshell, I'm an exceedingly genuine person experiencing an exceedingly tedious series of events. I'm in my early 30s. I'm a college graduate (several times over), and recently lost a job that didn't in any way allow me to live up to my life's potential! "Deferred Genius" refers to the current state I'm in where I could take the world by storm, if only given the opportunity. I'm trying to now capitalize on the POTENTIAL that I have and raise $100,000 for a business opportunity primed to be a multimillion-dollar enterprise. I COULD USE AN ANGEL INVESTOR!