I've Moved My Blog to WORDPRESS!

I've been on blogger for a little over a year now, and I loved how it was integrated into my Gmail account and all, but it's just not working for me. I have (or had) ONE reader, and my blog gets NO traffic. True, I haven't been as proactive as I should have been in driving traffic to this blog, but at the same time, I couldn't even figure out how to do it on this interface anyway! LOL.

Plus, wordpress just seems to be the better blogging application AND I come up quicker in internet searches using their site! :)

So, please join me at my new blog site: http://geniusdeferred.wordpress.com/

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On "My Commitment To You"...

"MY FRIENDS", I'm going to make a commitment to place at least one entry here per day for every day for the next week!

Perhaps by doing this I'll start to form a habit that I can keep up on a regular basis. I regularly send myself "To Do List" for the day from my work email to my home email address, and though I rarely get the opportunity to check things off of it, I do make a point to at least briefly review it when I get home.

Now, I will make a point of adding one blog entry at the end of my "To Do List" to be included here on a regular basis.

Wish me luck! :)

On Random Internet Encouragement

I ventured here today, newly inspired by Barack Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention. Based partly on the fact that most people I know are heading to bed so they can wake up and go to work in the morning, I really didn't have a creative outlet to get my thoughts out before I go to bed tonight and prepare for another crap azz day of work.

I was totally floored when I saw I had ONE COMMENT on my most recent post. Upon further inspection, I've seen there are other comments for the other posts, though I admit I haven't read them yet. While my intention was to post my thoughts on Barack's speech, I'm now truly encouraged to write more! If only for that ONE person that left me a comment! LOL.

At least back in June, someone paid attention, no matter how briefly! Ok, that sounds a bit pathetic, but I really figured I'd never gain an audience through blogging. Not because I don't think I'm funny or witty enough or that I'd run out of topics, but because I can't figure out how the hell "trackbacks" work! LMAO.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I just don't get blogging. Perhaps the problems I'm having are just endemic to Blogger, and I should start looking for a new editor. (Any suggestions?). The bottom line is: I'll be writing here more often. Based in part because I really do need to get a lot of this stuff I've got jammed in my head out, and because I'm having some experiences in life that could stand to be laid out in a journal, so I can look back on them 20 years from now and laugh! True, being a mostly private person, it's antithetical to think I'd post such personal things on the Internet for everyone to see, but I figure, WHY NOT?! LOL. I won't be making any REAL confessions (at least not until "my public" demands it), and it's good to see people's opinions and get a dialogue started!

So, to my one reader in Auckland: THANKS! I appreciate it! Even though it's been two months since I logged into my account, seeing your ONE message helped temporarily lift my spirits. For that I am truly indebted to you! :)

I Don't Get Blogging....

Now, don't get me wrong, I am a genius, and I usually have a grasp on "all things intellectual", but I don't get why this blogging thing isn't working. Perhaps it's just the Blogger interface, but I don't see how this works. It's not easy to meet people, or customize your site. Maybe I should leave and try another site.

Here I've been here for MONTHS and not ONE PERSON has viewed my blog! This is like a freaking diary available on the World Wide Web, because NO ONE SEES IT!

I've read the Help Section, and it didn't help!

Why am I so alone in the blogsphere?! What is it that I'm doing wrong?! More importantly, why did I just take 2 minutes to write this, knowing no one will read it!

I think I've officially "gone crazy"! LMAO.

Teen Pregnancy on the Rise?

Everyone's in an uproar because of 17 girls in some "pregnancy pact" in Massachusetts. I don't get the big deal. Teens get pregnant all the time, and I'd surely question the "statistics" that have been kept on this issue for decades, because there are a number of variables that determines when a pregnancy is reported, and to whom.

Anywhoo, it occurred to me recently that the girls involved must be primarily white. The reason I think this is because you haven't seen ONE picture of any of the ones involved. History (and my own experience) tells me that's because they aren't people of color. If they were Black or Hispanic, their pictures, along with captions and video snippets of them talking about how proud they are to be pregnant, would be shrewn all over the web! Since I don't see that, I make the assumption that they're white. Sure, eventually time will tell if I'm right or wrong on this.

What pisses me off about this whole thing, is not the sad fact that a group of girls under 16 have decided to have babies, and negatively alter their lives, but the fact that the media is so quick to blame "popular culture" and movies like "Knocked Up" and "Juno". That's RIDICULOUS! Teens have been getting pregnant for decades, and you can't just immediately place the blame on idiots like Jamie Lynn Spears. Place the blame on the PARENTS who don't teach their kids values and morals and help them plan for the future! It's pretty obvious that Britney's parents failed her and her siblings in a number of ways, it's just sad that their family dysfunction gets plastered all over the news!

Teen girls have been getting pregnant for the same reason today that they did 30 years ago: THEY WANT TO BE LOVED! No girl with a future and dreams wants to be a parent at 16-17. No girl that truly has a loving, caring family ruins her future by getting knocked up before she's 18. Yes, being a teen parent these days doesn't mean that you automatically fail in life, as it used to mean many decades ago, but it does limit your potential. Not to mention adding the EXTRA PRESSURE of HAVING TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER LIFE to your list of "life worries".

This whole situation is sad, but regrettably nothing new. I think the worst of it is these girls are now NATIONAL CELEBRITIES. Even though we in the national audience can't identify who they are (yet), those in their local community know who they are, and I'm sure the attention they're getting is exactly what they wanted when they got knocked up. They'll get special baby showers, and I'm sure the town will come together and put up a fund for the mothers (and the kids) to go to college and pay for diapers, etc. Chances are, most of the father's WON'T get charged with any crimes, except maybe for the "24 year old homeless man" that everyone keeps talking about. Grown men have been having sex with underaged girls since way before R. Kelly was pissing on them!

Though this entire scenario is sad, it's more so indicative of a "slow news week", since people are tired of hearing about $4+/gallon gas prices (that don't seem to be getting any lower, by the way). I imagine in the next few weeks, Angelina Jolie's bastard twins will be the cause for the next "brouhaha" (and yes, I called them "bastards". It's unpopular, but it fits! LOL). Oh well. IT IS WHAT IT IS!

Shaken, not Stirred...

Today marks the third time someone who considers themselves to be a "life coach" or someone that helps people with self-empowerment/self-esteem/self-worth issues, etc. has said something UTTERLY DISGUSTING TO ME!

First, it was the "business coach" who broke confidentiality with another client to tell me that people were talking about me behind my back. This "coach" said there were twitters of how "unprofessional" I appeared, of course implying that he could improve this through his "coaching".

The second, came in the form of yet another "life coach" who took it upon herself to tell me that she doesn't like my personal style of dress, and suggested she'd like to take me shopping (though she DID NOT offer to pay!).

The third and final incident happen today after a referral to a certain "self-empowerment coach" ended in her telling me she's the best at what she does, and she doesn't even know why I'd consider getting into her field (or even contacting her in general) since she's been doing what she does for 20 years and she's the best in the business.

I have been thoroughly and utterly DISGUSTED by these people's actions. It's sickening to think that they all present themselves as people that work to help others. It's such a crock! How can you help others when your first goal is to tear them down? What kind of fu*kery is that?!

Man, now I REALLY get it! I've always had naysayers and detractors in my life, and people that tell me that my ideas are wrong, and that whatever my plans aren't going to work out, but it seems that this new crop of people are a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BREED! Normally, people that tell me I'm going to fail actually KNOW ME, but the three folks mentioned here don't know me from Adam, beyond a few brief encounters. I'm completely SHOCKED and APPALLED that people who purport to actually HELP others can be so callous and inconsiderate of someone's feelings (just because that person isn't paying their fees). For this reason, I now official believe "life coaching" to be a CROCK! There's a reason why REAL universities haven't embraced this phenomenon!

I recently read something that said don't give up at your bleakest hour, because that's when you're the closest to achieving your goal. Part of me believes that, and the other part of me just isn't going to give up because I don't want all the naysayers to be right!

The Democratic Nominee

First, let me say I just posted this in "May" so that I'd have at least ONE post there for that month, but in actuality I'm posting on June 15th, so don't get all hyped up thinking I'm some kind of psychic mind reader with insight into who's going to win November's election (but I will give it a shot):

So, now that the Democratic Nomination Brouhaha is seemingly over, and it appears that Barack Obama has emerged as the choice of the party, I do have a few feelings about this situation that I'll share at this time.

First, I'm sad that Hillary didn't win, and although I've always felt that when the choice came down to a Black man and a white woman as the Democratic nominee, it all but GUARANTEED that a Republican would be voted into office in November, I'm still a bit miffed that Hillary didn't get the nomination. Personally, I think Barack Obama has been used as an operative of the Republican Party (similar to how Ralph Nader & John Kerry were) to make sure that there's never really a "viable" candidate to run against them. Don't get me wrong, I think Barack Obama's ok and all, but I don't think his "Change" mantra is going to be all that effective, since PEOPLE DON'T LIKE CHANGE! Aside from that, while I'm sure people are head-over-heels excited about the first possible "president of color", I'm just not as caught up into that hype as people feel I should be as a Black woman.

Leading me to my second point: This democratic nomination process has been amazing to me on a personal level. I've personally lost friends and family members as a result of my choice to support Hillary's campaign. Truthfully, some of those relations were already strained, and the Obama thing just finally made the last straw snap, but it's been amazing to see how emotional people are over this issue! And by "people", I have to be honest here and say I mean "Black people". They've been frothing at the mouth and worshipping Obama like he's the "second coming", and I think it's sad and ridiculous and it reminds me of the way people supported Bush in 2000 and 2004, even despite the fact that common logic and intelligence seemed to indicate that doing such a thing was UTTERLY STUPID. That's not to say the people that supported Bush were stupid, but many of them did appear to be mindless lemmings following whatever he said and falling for sound bites on topics that were really of the least bit of concern to MOST americans. That's the way I see lots of Black people going. They're following Obama, because they believe that he'll somehow secretly open up doors for Black people once he gets into office, despite that fact that him doing so would be AGAINST everything he talks about and represents (i.e. he's for ALL people, thus Black folks need to "get in where they fit in").

Point three: Though it's no longer "socially acceptable" to otter these words, I will: I don't think Barack Obama is "Black enough" FOR ME! I say that in the vein of the "He's not Black like me" sentiment that I'm sure many Black folks in america who are the descendants of slaves feel (though they can no longer express this thought without people - many of them Black themselves these days - shunning their concerns or opinions on the matter). Yes, as a multiracial man of African descent in this country, Barack Obama is a proud symbol of what can happen for you in this country if you work hard and have a white mother. I know it's hard for many people to understand where I'm coming from with this, but I'm not hating on him, I'm just pointing out the reality of the fact that much of his success is based on the fact that he's half-white, whether people are willing to admit that or not. If Barack had two Black parents that were the descendents of slaves in this country, he wouldn't be where he is. Hell, for everything she's accomplished, even MICHELLE OBAMA couldn't be where he is (nor her brother, with a similar pedigree) if the tables were turned! Yes, Barack's nomination is a step in showing that there's been some progress on race relations in this country, but I still see the racism in the "golden boy" who's accepted by america because he's got half of the "right blood" coursing through his veins. Again, I know it's unpopular to have this opinion, but far be it from me to shy away from something simply because it's not popular! LOL.

Fourth, Hillary ran a bad campaign! She didn't really run this race as if she was in the race against a REAL contender, she ran it as if she was the presumptive nominee, and didn't think that Obama would be a threat. And it wasn't until he was actually shown to be a threat, that she started strategizing. That was her BIGGEST FAULT. By that time, in my opinion, the fight was over. Many people lose battles when they fail to analyze who their competition is before starting the war! Along the same lines that I see racism in Barack's campaign, I can admit that there's sexism in Hillary's as well. There's NO WAY she could be in the position that she is if it weren't for HER HUSBAND! That sucks! It still sends the same message that your worth as a woman, no matter what your other accomplishments, is still tied to a man. I hate that, but accept it as yet another "necessary evil" of life.

Finally, who I'll vote for in November is still up in the air. Should Barack Obama not select Hillary Clinton as his Vice President, he surely won't have my vote automatically given to him. Hillary was my candidate of choice, and I'm not a Democratic, so I don't feel the need to automatically throw my support behind whomever sits on the Democratic ballot. I think Barack's alright and all, but if he doesn't choose Hillary as a VP, then it'll force me to take a closer look at where he and John McCain stand on the issue (as well as who JM chooses as a VP, 'cause if it's Romney, he'll never get my vote), and decide from there.

I think this country is headed into the crapper, and if I could leave it, I would! Maybe I need to spend a few years somewhere else so I can truly appreciate WHATEVER it is that makes others love america so much! The democratic nominee process has once again jaded me on the political process in this county, and the truth of the matter is, I'm really tired of the way things happen here! I need more options!

------END RANT------

Drinking at 21?

How did the age of 21 come about as the "legal drinking age" in the United States? I ask that question somewhat rhetorically, because I really don't want the answer, because that would probably ruin my forthcoming diatribe!

I think 21 was arbitrarily chosen, and I think that the age should either be lowered to 18, or raised to 25! I think this, in part, because these numbers two are simply arbitrary, yet can be associated with a variety of other lifetime milestones. Even though I'm far past the age of 18, I've always wondered WHY 21 was set aside as the "magical legal drinking age"? At 18, you can legally marry, enter contracts, and sign your life away to either of the military branches of this country, so why then, if given THIS MUCH RESPONSIBILITY is the age to legally imbibe in alcohol consumption still held off until 21? It's not as if that age restriction somehow magically keeps kids AWAY from alcohol. It just seems arbitrary and ridiculous to me!

Everyone's so enthused about "young people and their participation in this year's election", but what would happen if those young people decided to turn their attention towards this issue?

It just seems crazy to me that you can enter contracts that can change your life, open credit that can potentially ruin your financial life (for decades), and make the ultimate decision to put your life on the line for this country and its ideals, but can't get a drink until 3 more years have passed.

This sucks! And who gave MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) the power to enforce such an age limit arbitrarily?

The Barack Brouhaha

In the midst of Senator Obama making his speech about race relations in america, and attempting to hear Hillary's response, it occured to me: I don't care anymore!

It goes beyond the fact that Barack's american "golden boy" (both figuratively and literally) that can do no wrong, but just the fact that this gets everyone's feathers in a twist gives me a headache!

I'm sure I sound incoherent, as it's been several days since I've had a good night's sleep, since I've been dealing ad nausem with T-Mobile's bullsh1t HotSpot @ Home service that apparently isn't meant to work in MY home. But it hit me: "so what?". I didn't have the time, nor the inclination to listen to a 35 minute speech by Obama, because not a damn thing he says now is going to really change my opinion of him, nor take my vote away from Hillary. It just seems so damn useless and senseless! I honestly don't think either of them have a snowball's chance in hell of being the next president of this country, but I'd be more than willing to "eat my words" should my assumptions about this racist/sexist nation ring untrue.

People keep asking the question "is america ready for a Black president?", and my answer to that is "sure, if you can actually find one!". Yes, I said it! Barack isn't the kind of "Black" I envision when I think of a "Black president". A Black american president should be someone with longstanding cultural ties to this country who has understood and overcome the institutional racism of this country and still managed to get elected to the highest office of this land! Until that happens, I'll always view Barack's candidacy (or even his win) as a pseudo-victory for "colored folks" everywhere! If the decendent of an american Black slave were to be elected president (even with being biracial), I'd view THAT as a victory, because even in that case, that person would have SOME semblance of an understanding of where myself, and people like me come from.

I know it's no longer popular to expose such views about Barack Obama. In fact, part of me expects my Blogger account to be "mysteriously" shut down ("for maintenance") within the next few days. Don't get me wrong. I think Barack Obama is a nice guy. I'd love to have coffee or lunch with him to pick his brain and ask him some questions about some of the things he talked about in his first book (yes, I actually read it, unlike many of the faithful "obamites" out there that follow him blindly). But the simple fact of the matter is, I can't (and won't) get past his "cosmepolitan" upbringing that allows so many whites to be so comfortable around him because he is the antithesis of what MOST people know to be "Black". His candidacy should at the very least show people that "race" isn't simply about skin color! It's about so much more than that. Barack Obama's skin color makes him a "tan man". His ethnicity makes him an "African American", but as far as I'm concerned: HE'S NOT BLACK!

Yes, this is really quite off the topic of his speech and all the surrounding "drama" that goes with it. Perhaps, if I feel up to it later, I'll talk about how I was actually impressed by Obama actually "boning up on his political savvyness" and becoming a politician for once by throwing Jeremiah Wright under the bus and distancing himself from him as soon as humanly possible when sh1t hit the fan! LMAO.

"Stuff white people like"....

Yet another bit of inequality in this world surrounds this popular blog that has got everyone in a tizzy. Some white guy set up a satirical site about being white and obnoxious, and he'll probably make a million dollars off of it!!

I'm really getting sick and tired of racism in this country, but what makes it so insidious is that people can't even identify when it's happening anymore.

The fact that his site (for whatever reason) continues to draw readers is just sad and sorry.

If there were any justice in the world, I'd have $3 million dollars of "mad money" sitting in my checking account. SMH.

Genius Deferred

Everyday I wake up and ask myself "why don't I have a job?". At least once a day, I ask this question to some friend or family member over the phone. We're all perplexed, and no one has any answers. It just doesn't seem fair that a college educated, intelligent, bright, ambitious, and energetic young woman can't seem to find good employment.

When I talk to people, the looks of disbelief on their faces at the fact that I'm not working is almost comical. It's as if people can't conceptualize what it is that might be keeping me from the employment ranks. No one has any answers. All they can do is shake their head.

I've started to believe that this is serving as a time where I am being "tested". I long believed that God would take care of me, and provide for all of my needs, but sometime a few weeks ago I lost that belief. Outright. Gone. I felt completely and utterly alone in this world, knowing that I'm utterly powerless to change any and everything that happens to me in this world. Don't get me wrong. I'm not feeling bleek or sorry for myself. I just realized that I am haplessly and aimlessly wandering through life and there's not much that's within my power to change anything about my current situation. I can't make someone give me a job, nor am I in the place where I can financially afford to invest in my own future and create a job for myself.

I'm just BEING. Stuck in a conundrum waiting on all this stuff to finally come to an end. What I mean by "end", only time will tell, but for now, I really and truly to feel as if, once again, GENIUS is being DEFERRED. All this talent and wit, wasted. It's just sad and pathetic that we live in a world where someone like me sits inert, on the internet, writing to no one, while no one in particular cares...

The Grammys - 2008

It's the 50th Anniversary of the NARAS's Grammy Awards show, and for the last 5-6 years, I admit it's been an event that I've found I care less and less about as time passes. It's not because I necessarily dislike the music that's be produced from their respective artists, but it's more so based on the fact that every passing Grammy year reminds me of yet another failure in my own life, as I'm no closer to getting to the awards show than I was when I decided I wanted to win an award when I was 4.

Well, the motivation behind this post comes from Vince Gill's acceptance speech as he received the Best Country Music Album of the Year award. In his speech, he quoted someone by saying, "Music is the only true place where democracy lives". My first thought was "Bullshit"!

I've been in "Stifle City" more than a year, and whenever I tell someone I'd like to break into the music industry, they always start by giving me tips on how to break into Gospel music!
Why is that you may ask? Is it because it's "the Bible Belt", or because Gospel Music is slowly taking a back seat to Country Music in the Music City? NO! It's because I'm a Black woman! That's why. It's inconceivable to many to believe that I'd ever have any desire to break into the music industry, and just the outright assumption that because I'm Black I'm automatically looking to get my foot in the door with Gospel music. A genre I haven't listened to in more than 15 years!

Anywhoo, I felt the need to point that out.
I'm sure no one cares, because right now, I don't have any readers. SMH & LOL.

HILLARY CLINTON FOR PRESIDENT!

A friend of mine recently grilled me on my recent "endorsement" of Hillary Clinton for the next President of the United States.

I was made to feel as though because I couldn't immediately give a laundry list of her qualifications and accomplishments, that I somehow wasn't making the "right choice". It was even alleged that I was making a "purely emotional" decision that didn't rely on fact or evidence.

Initially I balked at the assertion, because quite honestly, I wasn't in the mood to argue with this particular individual who finds that the bain of their existence (in their free time) is to annoy the hell out of me by picking petty arguments incessantly.

Later, once our conversation was over, I really took the time to think about why it is I think Hillary Clinton should be the next President of this country. While my feelings aren't "purely emotional", there are definitely tenets of emotions that course through my brain when I think of her candidacy, and what I hope it can do for our country.

First, Hillary Clinton was the first First Lady in my lifetime that I could actually say that I admired. I loved that fact that she wasn't merely a housewife reading stories to 3rd graders and planning tea parties at the White House. I loved that she and Bill seemed to SHARE both the successes and defeats of their professional lives. She always appeared strong to me, and though I'll never have any idea of what was happening in their home, I always got the impression that she was "runnin' thangs"! LOL. Plus, I have to admit, part of me felt a bit of a kinship to another fellow Illinois-born gal! :) So, it's from this initial perspective that the idea that Hillary could now be in the grasp of the Oval Office that makes me brim with pride!

Second, as a former Illinois resident, who voted for Barack Obama in 2004, I still believe that Hillary Clinton is the best politician! People get upset with me for saying this, but "the politics of politics requires that you be a politician" and for that reason I believe Hillary has the superior qualifications! People quickly run to a discussion about "experience" when I mention this, ready to point out her time in the senate, and devalue any experience she may have gained from being married to the most powerful man in the world. When I think of "experience", I think of "experience" in knowing how to navigate through the tough world of "Good Ol' Boys" and still manage to hold your head above water!

Finally, I just like her! In the past few months, whenever Hillary Clinton's name has been mentioned in public, I've literally seen people growl. It's amazing. I've never known someone to garner just ire from people, many of whom, can't even tell you what it is about her that they dislike. Many people feel she doesn't have a chance, and so for that reason, she definitely gets my vote, because I love "rooting for the underdog"! I think she's smart, confident, and capable of getting the job done!

VOTE HILLARY! :)

About Me...

I am normally my favorite subject. Usually, someone can ask me to talk about myself, and I can surely take up an hour of their time by only tapping the surface of "the highlights" of my adolescent years. Lately, I've found that the topic of me isn't all that interesting, at least not when talking about temporary issues. Something about being unemployed has sapped the life out of me, and more importantly, caused me to become dejected and disheartened at life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not "depressed", I'm just taking a very pragmatic and realistic view of life for the first time.

It's funny to think of how much more interesting this post would have been two years ago.

Oh well.

Thanks for reading.